


Can't Help Falling

by eternallyheartbeating



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU where there can be two winners of the killing game, Akamatsu Kaede is a lesbian, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Class Trials, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, F/F, Graphic Description of Corpses, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Manipulation, Memory Alteration, Murder, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, No Monokubs, Oma is spelled like Ouma, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Pre-Game Saihara/Ouma, Red blood instead of pink, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Amnesia, Tenko and Himiko are very gay and sweet, Trans Akumatsu Kaede, Trans Saihara Shuichi, alternate endings (two separate endings), by saying that i mean there is two alternate endings to this story, killing game, platonic kaede and shuichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-02-15 05:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13023891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternallyheartbeating/pseuds/eternallyheartbeating
Summary: A killing game.Two can graduate.Shuichi and Ouma fall for each other almost immediately, and keep it a secret and they will do anything to be the last two to survive.Idea from gay-ly-daily on tumblr, and some parts written by gay-ly-daily on tumblr.





	1. The Beginning of a Nightmare

Dark and cold.

The air around him was dark and cold with the smell of metal.

Where was he?

Who was he?

There was a dizziness in his head. He shoved his arms out before him, and fell out… of a school locker. He groaned a bit as he got himself up. He was in a room that seemed to be a classroom, his eyes darted around the room, on instinct to see his unfamiliar surrounding. It was overgrown with plants and the backboard was a screen. There was a large monitor near the ceiling. And a girl stood in the room, looking as confused as he felt. Before he could say anything, a message popped up on the monitor, with a loud school bell to draw their attention.

 

_Introduce yourself to all 16 Ultimates, then gather in the gym for a message from the principal!_

 

He glanced at the girl. She was blonde, bright eyes that had an innocent look in them, wearing purples and whites, decorated with musical notes.

“Do you know where we are?” She asked him.

“Uh, no,” A memory came back to him. “I remember someone, um kidnapped me I guess.”

“Oh! Now that I think about it, the same happened to me!” She said cheerfully. She seemed too cheerful for the situation… “I’m Akamatsu Kaede, the Ultimate Pianist.”

“I’m Saihara Shuichi… I’m called the Ultimate Detective, but…” he trailed off.

“Oh you look like you could be the Ultimate Detective! Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I’m too young. I don’t have a license, and I only got the title for solving one case.”

Akamatsu nodded slightly “Ah, that makes sense, I guess. Still you should be proud of the title.”

He fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve and pulled his hat down a bit, avoiding eye contact.

“We should go look for the others… the message says there’s more Ultimates here!” Kaede said, then turned on her heel and started walking to the door. Shuichi hesitantly followed suit. He didn’t trust this place…

The classroom opened up into a long, wide  hallway. Like the classroom, it was overgrown with various plants, though it seemed like it would be old, the building seemed in a good condition despite the growth. Occasionally you could see doors scattered about.

Akamatsu already was heading down the hall, clearly excited to meet other Ultimates.

“Ah, wait for me Akamatsu-san!” He called, and hurried up to tag along with her. He had little time to take in the halls around him as he tried to catch up to Akamatsu's quick pace. From what he could tell, all the halls were similar. Kaede turned a corner, Shuichi groaned at how quickly she was going. Once he caught up to her, she had stopped by a girl with long blue hair and glasses. She was clearly deep in thought.

“Hello?” Akamatsu chirped.

The girl didn’t answer.

“Hellooo?” Akamatsu waved a hand in front of their girl’s face.

No reply. Akamatsu pokes the girl’s cheek.

“Maybe she’s some sorta realistic doll?” Akamatsu jokes.

“I doubt it,” Shuichi said.

She continued to poke the other girl’s cheek.

“Ahaha this is kind of fun! You try, Saihara-san!”

“I’d rather not,”

“Aw, come on!” She grabbed his hand and pulled his hand to poke the quiet girl’s cheek. He pulled his hand away as soon as Akamatsu let go.

“That was unnecessary,”

“Ah!” The quiet girl spoke up.

Akamatsu yelped, “Oh, you can talk!”

“Yes, sorry, I was thinking. I was hoping if I ignored you that you’d go away.”

“Oh, well, sorry for poking you,” Akamatsu said. “I’m Akamatsu Kaede. This is Shuichi Saihara.”

“I am Shirogane Tsumugi, the Ultimate Cosplayer.” Said the quiet girl.

“What were you thinking so much about?” Shuichi asked.

“This, uh dragon statue here,” she gestured to a stone decoration carved like a dragon. There was a single gem in one of its eye sockets. Plants crawled up the base of it. “It reminds me of an anime…” she got quieter as the look on her face slowly returned to the same ‘concentrating’ look she had on her face only moments ago. Shuichi looked around as Akamatsu continued to talk with Shirogane. The hallway that they were in was almost the exact same as the others, the exception was a door decorated with the design of piano keys, and the strange dragon statue. The growth of the plants were obviously different, and the hall still looked taken care of despite the plant life.

“Come on, Saihara-san!” Akamatsu called and continued down the hall.

The rest of meeting other Ultimates was a blur. They weren’t that memorable.

Toujou Kirumi, the Ultimate Maid.

Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Magician, who called herself ‘The Ultimate Mage’.

Tenko Chabashira, Ultimate Aikido master. She was a unique girl who created her own ‘Neo-Aikido’ and glared at any male in her vicinity.

Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Entomologist, he was a kind and gentle man, from what Shuichi could tell. Gonta is very enthusiastic about bugs.

Iruma Miu, Ultimate Inventor. She had a sharp tongue, with bad language and was very fond of calling Akamatsu flat chested and poking fun. Kaede didn’t seem to mind (besides, she had called almost every girl that she had met today some variation of the word pretty, including Iruma.)

Angie Yonaga, the Ultimate Artist. She didn’t act how an Ultimate Artist stereotypically would, she only talked about the god she believed in, Atua, and rarely spoke of her art.

Maki Harukawa said she was the Ultimate Child Caregiver. She had a dark expression on her face and hated children. Her title might’ve been fitting if Shuichi knew her better, but from the short introduction, he thought her Ultimate talent was strange for a girl like her.

Rantaro Amami couldn’t remember his Ultimate talent.

 

Eventually, they reached a door. An exit. All the windows were covered in barbed wire and most doors were locked.

 

“Do you think this is locked?” Akamatsu said quietly. He could tell she has been getting more and more anxious as the time passed.

“It isn’t,” said a boy with a mask and long hair. “Others have gone through it.”

Akamatsu's eyes brightened, “So that means we can get out of here!”

“Perhaps,” the boy spoke in a soft, arrogant tone. Akamatsu introduced herself and Shuichi to the boy. They learned his name, Korekiyo Shinguuji, Ultimate Anthropologist.

“Isn’t humanity beautiful?” Shinguuji mused.

“Yeah, sure,” Akamatsu replied halfheartedly, but she continued to have a conversation with him. Shuichi turned to the door. He wanted to see if the outside of this place was as overgrown as the inside. He pushed at the large door. He was greeted by clear skies, a shining sun and…

“We’re… trapped?” Akamatsu said from behind him. She walked out into the grass. The area they were in was surrounded by a huge metal cage. It went high above, too high to guess how many meters up it was. Sheets of metal surrounded the edges and blocked any way of exit.

“There has to be a gap somewhere.” He offered.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Akamatsu said in an upbeat voice. Yet her eyes were staring to lack the hopeful glisten that was once shining bright.

Once they were outside, there was more to see, more Ultimates to meet. Kaede was more enthusiastic about meeting them than Shuichi was.

Kaito Momota, Ultimate Astronaut. He had illegally taken the test to become one (because he was too young) but he had done so well that he got deemed the title.

Ryoma Hoshi had the title of Ultimate Tennis Player. He seemed to brush that aside and talk about the fact on how jail changed him, how he was a “shell” and didn’t seem to care about his Ultimate talent.

The most interesting Ultimate by far, was Kiibo, the Ultimate Robot. Whoever created him, had created a near-perfect AI, that seemed to be capable of feeling emotion after calculation.

After a bit of walking Akamatsu spoke, “Was that everyone?”

“Uh, no, that was only thirteen, not including us,”

“Well, nobody else is outside so, let’s go check any unlocked classrooms that we find!” Akamatsu suggested. Shuichi just nodded. He followed her as she aimlessly walked about the paths to try an find the entrance to the building. He tried to lose himself in his thoughts, tried to think of any reason why this many Ultimates (or Super High School Level, as some would say) are at this school. He couldn’t think of any logical reason…

“Saihara-san, you’re going to walk into something if you stay all dazed like that!”

“Sorry, I was thinking…” He pushed the thoughts out of his head. _Even though I’m curious, I should just focus on what’s in front of me._ He continued to follow Kaede as the two entered the building. They passed others that they had met in the hallway, Akamatsu greeted them with smiles. Shuichi just looked for any doors that they might’ve missed.

As they walked on, a door caught his eye. “I don’t think that we went in this one,” and before Akamatsu could open the door, and greet whatever Ultimate that was there, Shuichi opened the door.

Behind it was a classroom.

And a boy.

A sense of familiarity rushed through Shuichi when he saw the boy, and he didn’t know why. There was nothing about him that really stood out to him about the boy, nothing that Shuichi remembered. But he felt something.

“Nishishi, more Ultimates, huh?” he spoke.

“I’m Akamatsu Kaede, Ultimate Pianist.” Akamatsu said.

“Ah, that’s boring isn’t it? What about you, pretty boy?”

“Wha- Pretty boy?”

“Yeah, you. What’s your Ultimate talent?”

“Uh, Ultimate Detective. Saihara Shuichi.”

Something flashed in the boy’s eyes before he spoke, “Ahaha, that’s a problem for me then. I’m the Ultimate Supreme Leader, Ouma Kokichi.”

Ouma Kokichi. The name sounded familiar. Memories in the back of his head clawed, but nothing  of significance could come to his head.

So instead, Shuichi just smiled.

 

 _____________________________

 

_Nothing special. Just a small token. But it was from Oji-san. A smooth, purple-grey stone engraved with 最原 終一_

_His name._

_He kept it in a pocket with him._

_The small, seemingly meaningless stone became a comfort._ _The feeling of holding it, the color, just having it._

_And it was the same color as the eyes of a smaller, quiet boy at school. He smiled at that thought._

_“You have pretty eyes,” he told the boy one day._

_The boy looked up and smiled at him, “Thanks, Saihara-chan,”_

_His heart fluttered at the sight of the smile. “You’re welcome, Ouma-kun.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 最原 終一 is Saihara Shuichi in kanji  
> Oji-san is a respectful way to say Uncle. 
> 
> This chapter was just an introduction to the characters, in the next chapter, the killing game will be introduced. 
> 
> As this goes on, feel free to yell at me on my tumblr, eternallyheartbeating, or gay-ly-daily who helps me write this and helps with the storyline!


	2. The Beginning of a Nightmare - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Miu uses a simplified version of the f-slur, then Kaede lectures her, and it isn't written but Kaede slaps her prpbably
> 
> I'm sorry that this chapter took *forever*, I don't have an excuse except that I have no inspiration ahaha.

_There's a humming in the restless summer air_

_And we're slipping off the course that we prepared_

_But in all chaos, there is calculation_

_Dropping glasses just to hear them break_

_You've been drinking like the world was gonna end_

_Took a shiner from the fist of your best friend_

_It's clear that someone's gotta go_

__________________________

The dim light of the sun shone through the windows. Shuichi’s fingers brushed over his pocket and he glanced at Ouma’s eyes.

“There’s something in your eyes, Saihara-chan, maybe we were lovers in a past life!” Ouma said cheerfully.

“What? That’s-”

“Ah, but it’s a lie!” He giggled.

“Oh,” Shuichi couldn’t shake the familiar feeling that he had around Ouma. “Um, Akamatsu-san, could I speak to Ouma-san for a moment.”

“Sure, I’ll head to the gym!” She said cheerily, and skipped off out the door and down the hall.

“It doesn’t feel right when you call me ‘Ouma-san,” Ouma said almost immediately.

“It doesn’t feel right when you call me ‘Saihara-chan’.” He replied. “And… I remember something. A lot of things from… before today are blurry in my mind, but I remember your eyes... I sort of remember you.”

“Ahah, I must be special then.”

Shuichi pulled his stone from his pocket. “My uncle… Oji-san… gave this to me and it’s close to my heart… your eyes, um, remind me of it.”

A light flashed in Ouma’s eyes, but soon disappeared and his eyes narrowed “Must be a coincidence.”

“I remember you, Ouma-kun, it’s not a coincidence.” Shuichi said. “Oh, uh sorry, ‘kun’ just slipped out.”

“It’s fine, Saihara-chan, call me what you like! It still doesn’t feel quite right but, feel free, it’s not like I care.” But a look was on his face that put doubt in Shuichi’s mind.

“Was that a lie?”

“No, I honestly don’t mind what I’m called. You could call me Kokichi for all I care.”

“Kokichi…” he said under his breath. Ouma looked surprised.

“I was lying about the coincidence.” He said, his care free expression had disappeared and  full of… emotion.  Shuichi couldn’t tell what emotion. “You do seem familiar and I can’t shake the feeling that I know you.”

“I remember… being in the same class as you when we were younger.”

“I feel like I’m connected to you… with something more than just being classmates. And it didn’t feel wrong when you called me Kokichi.”

“Let’s just head to the gym, Kokichi.”

“After you Shuichi-chan!” That twisted grin appeared on his face yet again.

It was strangely nice to hear his name coming from Kokichi. He still didn’t know why Kokichi was… familiar? No. They had a connection. Somehow.

Before he exited, he turned on his heel, “I’m not going to call you Kokichi in front of the others, I don’t know how they’d react”

“Nishishi~ do whatever you’d like Saihara-chan,”

Thought of Kokichi tossed through his head as he made his way through the overgrown halls. Why was it him that felt familiar to Shuichi? Out of the fifteen ultimates that he had met, why him? He was…  unique. Lies, and manipulation was what seemed to be what Kokichi specialized in. The only thing he got from that conversation was that Kokichi also felt that he was familiar. What was so special about the two that they remembered each other? Memories were foggy ever since Shuichi woke up in the locker here.

Maybe together they could try to remember…

___________________________

_Shuichi walked home with the quiet boy, Ouma, on occasion. They lived nearby each other. They didn’t have much of a relationship. But their parents were close and wanted the two to be close. The two rarely talked. Shuichi did like Ouma, but when he tried to talk to him, he became quiet. He smiled at Shuichi’s efforts to speak with him, but made no effort to talk to him. Shuichi tried to talk to him, considering the fact that they were both Ultimates. Ouma didn’t like to talk about his. He wouldn’t say what it was, but when he talked about it, a light shone in his eyes that made Shuichi think that Ouma must really love his Ultimate talent._

_“Do you think what we’re doing in class is easy?” He asked Ouma, trying to make small talk. Ouma fidgeted with the hem of his uniform._

_“S#m#wh#at I do und#rst#nd, but I don’t car# th#t m#ch,” He replied._

_“Oh,”_

_The two walked in silence._

_“I get the feeling that you don’t like me that much, O#m#-kun,” he said._

_“I enj#y y##r c#mp#ny, I j##t d#n’t th##k y#u w#uld lik# me if yo# g#t to kn#w me.”_

_“We## ma#b# w# sh#u## j#s# s#p### mo#e t#me t#gether to see if w# do l##e e#a## ot###. Wh#t’s y#ur Ul#i#at# ta##n#?”_

_“### ######## ####### ######. ####’# ### # ###’# ##### ### #### #### ##.”_

_“# ###’# ##### ## ### ### ###########, ####-###.”_

_“### ####.”_

__________________________

 

Shuichi arrived in the gym late, but at least he wasn’t last. Kokichi arrived after he did. There was a strange look in his eyes, but it was immediately replaced with a sly smile.

“Amami-chan you you like an avocado! Nishishi~” Kokichi giggled.

“That’s unnecessary, Ouma-san,” Amami rolled his eyes.

“Stupid degenerates,” Chabashira hissed under her breath, “Stay away from that one, Himiko-san…” she said, eyeing Kokichi.

“You call Yumeno-san by her first name?” Shirogane pointed out, “Why is that? All of us only just met!”

“Ah! Well, Himiko-san and I remember each other from before, and uh, we’re close,” Chabashira explained, awkwardly. At her words, Shuichi glanced at Kokichi, but quickly turned away and went to stand near Kaede.

“Nyeh, that’s embarrassing, Tenko,” Yumeno mumbled, a slight blush rising to her cheeks. Chabashira leaned down and placed a quick kiss to Yumeno’s nose.

“Aha, you’re so cute, Himiko-san!”

“Don’t kiss my nose in front of people you idiot!” Chabashira blushed at the other girl’s words.

“Stop flirting you fuckin’ fags!”  Iruma yelled.

“Iruma-san that’s so unnecessary to call people that!” Akamatsu yelled.

“Eh? It isn’t hurting anyone… sorry,” Iruma said nervously. Her tough facade easily falls, often.

“It’s so awful to call people that!...” Akumatsu walked off from next to Shuichi to lecture Iruma. He stood there, pulling his hat down over his eyes. Everyone around him had split into small groups and were chatting away. Shuichi didn’t mind, he needed a moment to be alone with his thoughts. He peeked out from under the brim of his hat, to see Kokichi’s eyes on him, but as soon as he had saw him, Kokichi turned back to his conversation, and acted as if nothing had happened. Was he hiding something?

“Welcome, students!” A loud, booming, nasally voice came from… somewhere. Everywhere around them.

“What- what the hell?” Momota yelped,

“Welcome to the end of your lives!” A bear like creature vaulted out of nowhere.

A pulse of fear and anxiety shot through Shuichi. Everyone around him was freaking out. He couldn’t think straight. It was so loud… there was yelling… he couldn’t tell what was happening… he shoved his head into his hands. What the hell was happening?

“Who- what are you?” Someone yelled out.

“I’m Monokuma, the principal of this school!” The creature- Monokuma- let out a bone chilling laugh.

“Why are we here?” Shuichi whispered. He couldn’t bring himself to speak louder.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here, and the answer is simple. You’re going to kill each other until only two are left.”

“Wha- what the hell?” He yelled out. He tried to sound confident, even though anxiety courses through him.

“Yes! You Ultimates will be participating in a killing game! You can kill each other in any way! Beating, stabbing, slashing, burning, hanging, drowning, anything you could ever think of!”

“What? We’re not going to kill each other!” Akamatsu said confidently. Her voice still trembled slightly.

Monokuma just laughed “We’ll see.” It said, flashing it’s claws, then disappearing. It was strangely ominous, and sent a chill down Shuichi’s spine.

“A teddy bear thing won’t get us to kill each other!” Momota said enthusiastically.

“That thing… can’t be just a teddy bear,” Harukawa said, with less enthusiasm than Momota. Momota nodded in agreement.

There was a heavy atmosphere of dread in the room. Faces of shock.

Faces with the shock and sadness of despair.

Shuichi quietly watched and listened as all the others spoke of plans. Akamatsu was the most enthusiastic about finding an exit. Gonta spoke of a place under a manhole that he had seen. All the students agreed to go there to try to find a way out. Shuichi didn’t speak much. The others took charge as he left himself alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t think of anything that could rationalize this killing game. Who could be twisted enough to throw kids into such a horrible thing? How could someone be so… so fucked up to create such a thing?

Despite everything going on around him, his thoughts kept drifting back to those purple-grey eyes…

His eyes, and laugh stuck in the back of Shuichi’s head.

What are these memories?

Are they memories?

They felt familiar.

But why weren’t they complete?

He wants to remember.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be more interesting next chapter, I promise!!
> 
> The thing in italics in the beginning is some lyrics from the song Glory and Gore by Lorde.
> 
> I know this really wasn't th a t long, but next chapter will probably be longer cause murders and executions.


	3. The Beginning of a Nightmare part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation.

_ And I feel life for the very first time _

_ Love in my arms, and the sun in my eyes _

_ I feel safe in the 5am light _

_ You carry my fears as the heavens set fire _

_ Jump into the heat, spinning on our feet _

_ In a technicolour beat, you and me _

_ Caught up in a dream,  _

_______________________

The group traveled down under the manhole after they all had gotten there. There was scattered conversations among the Ultimates… the students? Shuichi didn’t know.

He heard murmurs of “Escape” and “Hope” throughout the time that they took to get to the manhole. Akumatsu had tried to talk to him, he spoke with her for a bit, but then over-analyzed the situation that they were in.

~~ And Kokichi’s eyes was in his thoughts as well. ~~

Shuichi notice how the group of Ultimates split up into smaller groups. Iruma and Kokichi had taken a liking to Kiibo, Iruma probably because she’s an inventor and Kokichi probably liked to annoy him. Akumatsu and Iruma got along very well, surprisingly. Yumeno, Angie and Chabashira got along, but Chabashira and Yumeno seemed closer. Momota and Harukawa got along. Shirogane and Gonta got along with everyone. Others were just… loners.

The manhole opened up into a large, stuffy cavern. Cobwebs decorated the ceiling. It was hard to see, but some light from above shone through.

“Hello!” Kokichi yelled out. It echoed back to the group. An impish smile appeared on his face. “Echo!” and it echoed.

“You fuckin’ idiot! You don’t yell out ‘echo!’.” Iruma slapped Kokichi upside the head. “Watch and learn.” 

Shinguji facepalmed, as if he could tell what Iruma was going to do. The others shifted and murmured amongst themselves. 

“Pussy!” Iruma yelled. It echoed around the room. 

“Dammit, Iruma!” Akumatsu scolded the other girl. Shuchi cringed at this. He barely knew Iruma, yet this seemed so predictable for her. 

“Do robots have dicks?” Kokichi yelled into the cave. It echoed and Shuichi noticed Kiibo’s awkward reaction… Maybe that was rude to a robot? It probably was. Shuichi wondered to himself why he was attracted to Kokichi… he was rude and a liar. Kokichi noticed Shuichi staring at him and smiled a smile that could light up a room. 

_ Oh, that’s why. _

“No, you gotta yell pussy!” Iruma yelled to the shorter boy.

“Please refrain from yelling,” Toujo sighed. Iruma grumbled, but obliged. 

“If you two weren’t yelling we could've checked out this tunnel!” Akumatsu pointed out. The ones that hadn’t noticed it turned to where Akumatsu had pointed.

“ _ Oh _ ,” Momota said. 

“You seriously did notice it?” Harukawa questioned, “Idiot…” 

Akumatsu monologued about hope. And it worked. It inspired everyone. Shuichi was glad to have her as a friend-- no, an acquaintance. She was the glue that stuck everyone together. Just by looking at her a person could tell that about her. She had amped everyone up, everyone seemed enthusiastic about travelling through the tunnel to find an exit. Everyone’s chipper faces shone in the darkness, there was hope in their eyes replacing the despair that had been there only minutes ago.

 

It took… hours.

Hours upon hours. Just to realize that there was no escape.

Some… classmates… dropped to their hands and knees, too tired to stand.

They all had tried  _ so _ hard to make it… Akumatsu had encouraged them so much and that got them to keep going, but not anymore.

Echoes from a monitor crackled and spoke in the nasally, spine chilling voice of Monokuma.

“Ahem, ahem! It is now 10pm! Go to your rooms and sleep for the night, and I would lock your doors if I were you~”

The group slowly exited the cavern one by one. Some lingered behind to chat amongst themselves, including Akumatsu so that left Saihara to walk back to the dorms himself.  He passed some people such as Amami, who greeted him with a silent nod. He didn’t quite know how to reply so he just gave a slight wave before continuing to the dorms.

He let his mind go blank as he walked to his room. When he got there he quickly went inside and locked the door. The room wasn’t bad, it was furnished simply, with simple carpeting, bedding and a bedside table. There was a closet filled with clothing. As if he were to be here for a long time. He didn’t bother to think of it, he was exhausted. He took off his hat and crashed onto the bed, it was surprisingly comfortable. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.

___________________________

_ Empty. _

_ That’s how he felt when he and his lov#r were drafted into the k#llin# g#me. Having an Ult#ma#e Ta#en# was a curse. _

_ The smaller boy trembled in his arms. Anxiety coursed through their veins. Silent tears rolled down both of their faces. _

_ They both knew they were to die in the k#llin# g#me. So they held each other tight, savoring the moment that they have alive together.  _

_ “# #### ###, S#ihar#.” _

_ “# #### ### ###, Ko#ich#.” _

_ They knew the moment was soon to end, and they were to enter a living hell. _

_ D#ng#nr#npa. _

_ The death of them all. _

___________________________

Shuichi woke with a gasp. The morning announcement ringing in his ears.

Memories, memories? Dreams?

Dreams, memories, everything is a blur. He didn’t know what was real. He shook his head. So what? It was probably just a dream. He couldn’t remember the name or face of the boy in his dream. It was probably some forgettable face that his brain came up with to put into his dream. He never had a lover before this. It wasn’t a memory.

~~ If it wasn’t a memory why did it seem so real? ~~

He sighed and pulled his hat over his eyes, and exited the door to face the day. He avoided eyes with Kokichi, as the other boy was lingering around the dorm building. He didn’t want to avoid him, but he didn’t want to have any more awkward conversations.

He kept his eyes open for Chabashira… because of her relationship with Yumeno, she might understand his confusion about his dream.

Memory.

He spotted her with Yumeno entering the doors to the hall that lead to the dining hall. 

“Chabashira-san!” He called out, increasing his speed to catch up with her. She rolled her eyes and murmured something to Yumeno. The shorter girl nodded and entered the building. 

“What do you want, stupid degenerate.” She spoke as he caught up to her.

“Could- er, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Fine,” She said. “Stupid degenerates, always wanting to whisk away women to satisfy their pleasures…” she said angrily under her breath. 

“Um, I heard that and that’s definitely not my intention. I just want to have a conversation.” 

“Sure,” Her posture relaxed slightly, but not much. 

“If you’re actually worried about the men here trying to do something… rude… you can cross me off of that list, I have no attraction to women.”

“You’re gay?” She asked, seemingly shocked.

He fidgeted with the brim of his hat nervously, “I mean, I’m not sexually attracted to anyone, but yeah I like men.”

She grinned “Well that makes three of us, welcome to the unofficial Ultimates’ LGBT+ club.”

“I mean this wasn’t what I wanted to talk about, but I’m glad I’m accepted, Chabashira-san.” He smiled at the girl shyly. 

“You can use kun. Well, I’m continuing this conversation. Since you’re sharing your identity, I’ll share mine. I’m an asexual lesbian.”

“I’m trans, asexual and gay.” 

“So what did you want to talk about?” 

“How did you remember your relationship with Yumeno-san?” He asked quickly.

She hesitated and a blush appeared on her cheeks. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m having memories-- at least I think they’re memories-- about someone here. I remember him and some, no, a lot of pieces are missing and I just… want to know if it was the same for you.”

Chabashira’s expression was hard to read. Shuichi wasn’t sure what she was thinking, and he was supposed to be a detective. He should be able to read people.

“Who is it?”

“What?”

“Who are you having the memories about?”

“Please, just tell me, Chabashira-kun.”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me!” a tricky yet confident smile appeared on her face.

“Kokichi- er, I mean Ouma-kun.”

A look of absolute surprise and confusion appeared on Chabashira’s face. “You think you were-- or are-- romantically involved with Ouma-san?” She let out a laugh. “You would want your memories back? Ha!” 

“Please, Chabashira-kun, having memories that are incomplete is driving me insane. I can’t even tell if these are memories or not!” He pleaded.

“Alright, alright,” She threw her hands up then let them shrug back down. “It’s simple really. You both have to touch each other. Not in a gross way, a simple touch. For Himiko-san and I, it was a handshake. After we both pulled away, I saw realization in her eyes, and I remembered. My Himiko remembered. I remembered my Himiko and our time together. I hate this situation that we’re in, but I love Himiko… and getting to spend time with the girl I love and… I’m ranting, I apologise.”

Shuichi smiled at her. “You must love Yumeno-san a lot. I can tell from your eyes. They’re speaking for you.” She nodded. “So to get the memories and pieces of memories back, all I have to do is touch him?"

“Yes, that’s it.”

“Thank you so much, Chabashira-kun. And can you not tell anyone about this conversation?” She opened her mouth to object, “You can tell Yumeno-san, but make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about this.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone except Himiko-san.” She said, “I understand the feeling of not wanting people to know about a relationship… the fear of not being accepted… and it’s Ouma-san and nobody likes Ouma-san.” The two chuckled for a moment. 

“Actually, I’m not sure what I feel about Kokichi.” He sighed, “He’s a liar and rude, but I just can’t ignore these memories… if they are memories.”

Her face took on a look of seriousness, “Yeah, I understand. Good luck with the memories.”

“Thank you, Chabashira-kun,” she nodded in response and turned away to enter the building. After a moment Shuichi followed suit. He hoped that the dreams ~~memories~~ would be completed…

But it was only a hope.

And he couldn’t imagine what was to happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (thnk fr th mmrs plays in the distance)
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!! I'd love to hear constructive criticism, your opinions, and where you think the story will go!! Or any comment you'd like to leave!! Thanks for reading this so far!!
> 
> The song at the beginning is 'Technicolor Beat' by Oh Wonder 
> 
> My tumblr is eternallyheartbeating, feel free to yell at me there!  
> My co-writer's tumblr is gay-ly-daily (she doesn't have an AO3). Yell at her too she's awesome and you should follow her ;)))


	4. Glory and Gore Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange times comes with strange interactions.
> 
> Song at the beginning is Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy

_ And I want these words to make things right _

_ But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life _

_ Who does he think he is? _

_ If that's the worst you got, better put your fingers back to the key _

 

_ Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great _

___________________________

What was this situation that Shuichi was in?  He and Akumatsu had hypothesized the idea that there was a mastermind behind the killing game. Why had they decided set up Iruma’s cameras? There were many things that could go wrong… He couldn’t stop the anxiety coursing through him. Many things has happened in the past hours…

___________________________

After talking to  Chabashira, ideas spinning in his head, Shuichi headed over to the dining hall. Some were already there, others trickled in at their own pace.

Even though he was satisfied from the conversation with Chabashira, he couldn’t shake the anxieties from being in a killing game. At anytime, someone could snap and he would have to see his friends dead. 

He doesn’t want anyone to die. 

_ Nobody _ was going to die. 

~~ He hoped. ~~

Akumatsu plopped down next to him and yawned loudly. “I slept terribly in this place, Saihara-kun… ugh.”

“Yeah, dreams kept me up last night, and just being in this place is kind of unsettling.” He replied. In the corner of his eye, he saw Kokichi sit down in the open seat on the opposite side of him. He avoided eye contact and internally freaked out. What is he supposed to do? Subtlety touch hands on ‘accident’? Talk with him? Ask him if he’s been having dreams, or memories? He panicked.  

“Hey, Akumatsu-kun?” she nodded in response at his awkward conversation starter. “Have you had any strange memories or did you have a strange dream?”

“No, I had a dreamless sleep,” She said with a tinge of confusion. “Why? Have you had incomplete memories?”

“Uh,” He glanced at Kokichi, who had looked up with wide eyes at Shuichi’s ‘random’ question to Akumatsu. “No, I haven’t. I just was wondering because maybe some things could’ve been altered by whoever’s behind this.” Kokichi quickly looked back down to whatever he was doing before. 

“You think someone’s behind this? One of us?” 

He looked around for a moment and noticed that nobody was really paying attention to Akumatsu and him. Except Kokichi, maybe. But somehow he didn’t mind if he heard what he had to say. A strange gut feeling.

“Yeah, I think that someone here… could be the mastermind keeping us here.” He said to her in a lowered voice. He actually hadn’t thought of it too much, but judging by some things that he’s seen here, it made sense. 

A mastermind-- a traitor-- was among them. 

And Shuichi already had an idea to find them out.

“Akumatsu-kun, act normal. After everyone is done eating, meet me in the classroom in front of the stairs to the basement. I have an idea. Come alone.” She nodded at his statement and hurried along to find food in the kitchen. Kokichi turned to Shuichi with an unreadable look on his face, but yet still emotion. “What?”

Kokichi blinked, and removed all emotion from his face. “Is this truth or lies, Saihara Shuichi? You don’t trust us?” Before Shuichi could answer, a smirk appeared on the other boy’s face, before he got up and ran out.

“There goes the imp,” Momota commented on Kokichi’s sudden exit. 

“You could be nicer to Ouma-kun,” Shuichi said to Momota.

“Why should I?” He said forcefully. “It’s not like he’s nice to us.”

“He might be rude, but it’s best to be kind to people, even if you don’t think they deserve it,”

Momota rolled his eyes, “Man, are we even talking about the same Ouma? He’s a liar and is probably going to trick us all into doing something awful.” Shuichi sighed and got up to walk out, without eating anything.  

“Upupupu~! It’s these little disagreements like these that lead to murder!” The chilling, nasally voice of Monokuma spoke from behind Shuichi. He heard a crash and whirled around. Akumatsu had dropped her small plate of food and it had shattered, sending shards every which way. She stood there wide eyed, staring at the robotic bear-like creature. 

“How the hell did you get there?” She said, paranoia in her eyes.

“I have my ways!~” The creature said. 

“We’re not going to kill each other!” Momota yelled at Monokuma.

“They all say that, then they end up killing someone!”

“Leave us alone!” Shuichi said.

“Aww I’m not wanted! I just wanted to make an announcement…” the creature pouted. 

“What announcement?” Harukawa demanded from Momota’s side. 

“Oh… I don’t think I’ll tell you.”

“Atua says he will tell us!” Angie said in her mystical tone. Harukawa glared at her.

“No, I don’t think I’ll tell you that you have two days to kill someone before I kill all of you,” The bear said sadly.

“Wait, what?” Shuichi spoke up.

“Oh no, it slipped out!~” Monokuma cried. “Someone should have died by now! I’m just speeding things along!”

“You’re a monster,” Harukawa said, her voice dripping with loathing.

“Thank you, madam!” 

Harukawa stood up, stabbed a kitchen knife into the table. Shuichi flinched. Wasn’t she supposed to be a child caregiver? “What the hell do you mean? We aren’t going to kill each other!”

“Oh, yes you will! If you want to stay alive you will!” The bear chucked, “In the next 48 hours if someone is not dead, you will all be killed!”

Harukawa grabbed the knife that was wedged in the table with ease. “What if I kill you instead, you piece of shit.” She said dryly. 

“Ah ah ah, haven’t you read the rules, Harukawa, dear~?”

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped. “And of course I read them.”

“I’m such a stickler for the rules! The last one who broke a rule ended up as a lump of meat in a puddle of blood, dying on the floor.” Monokuma’s words sent a chill down Shuichi’s spine. What is this place… why does this thing want them dead?

___________________________

_ Why? Wh#? W#y? Whyw#ywhywhywhyw#ywh#whywhywhy? _

_ Why had it come to this? _

_ Th#s… _

_ Why… _

_ It isn’t fair.  _

_ It’s not f#ir! _

_ Nobody has to h#ld the l#feless bo#y of their l#ver. _

_ No no no no no no this couldn’t be ha#pening.  _

_ It wasn’t h#s time to die… no no no no no no no… Sh####’s body shook with sobs as the tears flowed.  _

_ “No, no, no, no, please no don’t, I #### you, I #### you, I can’t, I can’t, no, please no,” He cried. _

_ All the m#mor#es of smil#s and happiness… all abruptly cam# to an end with the blood of K###### pouring out at the wrists. Sh#### let out a scream, this can’t be happening, this can’t be possible.  He sobbed at he reached out to touch the lifeless face, one once filled with light. _

_ His breath shook as he brought his hands back, stained with blo#d.  _

_ He sobbed and reached out, trembling, looking for a p#lse. _

___________________________

“Saihara!” 

He felt a slap on the face.

“Wh-what?” 

“What do you mean what?” Akumatsu asked, her voice tinged with worry.

“Wait what happened?” Shuichi asked.

“Oh my god, Saihara-kun! You collapsed to the floor and leaned against the wall and started hyperventilating like crazy! I thought you were going to pass out!”

“Yeah what happened, man?” Momota questioned. 

In a state of panic he blurted out what had happened. “I just… had the worst memory… I don’t actually know if it was a memory… but it was so vivid… so real…”

“You were panicking because… of a memory that might not even be a memory… that’s stupid.” Momota said. 

“I’m sorry… I want to be honest.” Shuichi pulled his hat down. “It was terrible,”

“What was it, was it that bad?”

“It is a message from Atua,” Angie commented. 

“I… I remembered a loved one killing themself… but the last time I saw them they were alive.”

“Oh my god… I’m so sorry…” Momota said. 

“It cut off when one of you slapped me so I don’t know if they were alive… but I know I saw them alive.” He lied a bit… they couldn’t know it was probably Kokichi who he had seen dead. Chabashira gave him a knowing yet worried glace. “I’ll just go…” He got up and shoved past the small crowd of people, pulling the brim of his hat down as much as he could to still see where he was going. 

He ran down the hall, trying to avoid anyone, hoping Akumatsu would still meet with him. 

“Nishishi~ Saihara-chan must’ve done something bad or he wouldn’t be running!” 

Shuichi stopped in his tracks. He didn’t even see the other boy before he had spoken. Fists clenched, he spoke, “No, I didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you running away from where everybody is?”

“I, uh, remembered something.”

“Oh? What was it?” Kokichi asked.

“Nothing.” He said a bit too fast.

“Ah, my dear Saihara-chan, it isn’t nothing, is it?” Kokichi took a couple steps towards Shuichi, a little too close for comfort. Shuichi felt a small blush creep on his cheeks, but he ignored it. “That’s a lie, and you’re obviously flustered about something~.”

“No, it’s nothing that should concern you.”

~~ (It has everything to do with you.) ~~

“Nishishi, I’m not so sure,” He giggled. Saihara sighed. 

“Let me pass, Kokichi.”

“Why should I, you’re keeping secrets!”

“I’m not,” He lied. “Even if I was, you’re a hypocrite. You’re a liar.”

“Hmmm,” Kokichi shifted, still uncomfortably close. “Well… I heard what you were saying to Momota-chan about me. Hmmm… Do you care about me? Do you care about people? Hahaha, what a waste of time.”

“What do you mean? I care for everyone… I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” He pulled the brim of his hat down a bit, resisting the voice in the back of his head, telling him to look at the wrists of the other boy.

Kokichi’s face darkened. Eyes wide and unsettling. And with a maniacal grin, he spoke. “I don’t care about you. Or anyone here. I’m just here to survive. I would kill you to end the killing game.” 

Shuichi gulped. His heart lurched.

“Or is that a lie?” He whispered and Kokichi’s face softened the slightest bit, and with a serious look on his face, he turned on his heel and walked away. “Watch out, Saihara-chan, you could have a knife in your back.”

He couldn’t tell if Kokichi was joking or not.

~~ (No he wo#ldn’t thi# is#’t K###### no no no no.) ~~

“This isn’t the one I remember…” Shuichi whispered to himself. 

~~ (You’#e righ# it is#’t. A#andon him. Y#u do#’t ne#d this one.) ~~

“No…” he whispered. “I’m not remembering. He’s alive. In front of me. Shut up, shut up shut up.” He shook his head and tried to push out his thoughts. He shouldn’t focus on whatever was happening with Kokichi. He groaned a bit, and just continued onto the classroom where he would meet Akumatsu, trying to push the past conversation out of his memory. 

 

The door slammed as it shut behind him. He sat down at one of the desks and rubbed his temples. God, why did they have to be stuck in this game… and the idea that one of them was a mastermind… Someone wanted blood. 

Gruesome and sickening. Who the hell would want this? The thought of it made him sick to his stomach. What kind of person would be bloodthirsty enough to force students to murder?  

TO BE CONTINUED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, it means the world to me!!  
> I'd love to hear what you guys think of it so far, and we have a lot planned ^^
> 
> Feel free to say hi to my co-writer and I on tumblr! She's gay-ly-daily and I'm eternallyheartbeating


End file.
